The inspiration behind this gouache painting was to evoke feelings of solitude and alienation from one’s own identity. The skeletal figure withering away as wisps of smoke fill the canvas with a hand shielding its face displays feelings of dissociation and derealization.

The skull in the lower left corner in the clutches of the main figure conveys the desire to appear as someone else: to acquire and embrace another’s personality and identity because of the lack of your own individuality. However, the skull is seen simultaneously disintegrating with the figure, indicating that this yearning is in vain because it’s impossible to become a different person other than yourself.

Nevertheless, one still has the ability to discover their own identity throughout their life, growing as a person from future experiences and reflecting on past ones. Acceptance of oneself is inevitable, but you have the freedom to become who you want to be, and you don’t need to mimic someone else to find your worth.